Love Languages

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman, Ph.D and Ross Campbell, M.D. One of my friends from MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) suggested we read this book as a group and have a discussion group on the topics. The words she used intrigued me, she said, "They really do deserve it" (meaning our families). I borrowed the book from another friend of mine and have stayed up late to finish it in two nights (of course compulsively). I have literally read dozens of parenting books and this was by far the best one yet. There were several parts that brought tears streaming down my face. I would even go as far as to say it is life-changing, but I need more time to see if it has done that and if I will follow through. . .

This book has already brought about changes in my parenting style and made me more aware of how my actions and words affect my children. The basis of the book is that all children (and adults) have a primary love language: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Each child needs all five of these to feel loved, but they tend to favor one the most, which is what you should use to show them how much you love them. I am pretty sure Ethan's language is Gifts and Dylan's language is Quality Time, but I want to do some of the experiments to find out for sure.

The only thing that left me somewhat perplexed is that if Ethan's language is truly Gifts, how do we distinguish between Gifts given to show our love and him being just plain spoiled. We have struggled with him throwing complete tantrums if he doesn't get a certain thing that he wants, or things aren't going his way. We have frequently used taking away items as a consequence for unfavorable behavior. I'll have to do a lot of processing and praying about this one.

Another part that hit home with me was about anger. I can be patient and kind for days and then suddenly have a total angry outburst. Unfortunately, many of my rages have been directed at Ethan because he is very, VERY strong-willed. Still, having parental tantrums by flying into rages and yelling, even spanking at times, is not what I want to model, especially for young boys who will eventually be full of testosterone. What is really eye-opening is when Ethan acts the very same way toward Dylan and I witness it. It's like hearing a tape recording of myself and let me tell you, it is not fun to hear.

There will be more to come about the love languages as I have more time to learn about Ethan and Dylan's love languages, as well as Goofy Hubby's.

Wookiee Cookie Weekend

We actually stayed home the whole day on Saturday and did some chores around the house.  I asked the boys if they wanted to make something, they wanted to pull out the Star Wars Cookbook that E received for Christmas this past year.  This book is full of cute ideas that kids love (and grown-ups like me love because they are easy!).  Some of our favorites are the TIE Fighter Ties (like pigs-in-a-blanket), Yoda Soda, and of course, Wookiee Cookies.  The Wookiee Cookies are basically standard chocolate chip cookies with cinnamon mixed in to give them a darker color and more flavor.  I must say, chocolate chip cookies are a lot more exciting when you can stack them up and pretend they are giant trees on Chewbacca's home planet of Kashyyyk.  They were absolutely Chewie!

Yoga + Running = Sleep!

I have problems with insomnia from time to time and on Monday morning I woke up at about 3:00 a.m. and could not go back to sleep.  Whenever this happens, I make myself relax for thirty minutes to an hour and see if I can fall back to sleep.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  Monday, it didn't work so I got up and waited until the YMCA opened at 4:30 a.m.  I was able to run about four miles on the treadmill.

When I was leaving the Y, I picked up a fitness class schedule and noticed the yoga class at 5:30 on Monday evenings (free for YMCA members!).  I have done yoga classes periodically since my college years and have always felt the tremendous benefits of it.  My mom and I have used it in the past as a chance to connect and we have been talking about taking another class together.  So, I decided to go on Monday evening to check it out.  It's always a struggle for me to try and rationalize spending another hour away from the boys and Goofy Hubby when I've just been away from them all day.  I may consider going every other week - that would help with the guilt factor. . .  

Okay, this class was HARD!  I am still stiff and sore from it.  The instructor is this really fit woman who not only teaches the yoga class, but proceeds to teach a body pump class right afterward!  She is amazing. . .  When I entered the room, I was not late for the class, but apparently everyone else knew the rule for getting there early enough to not have to go in the front row.  After walking in, grabbing a mat, and scanning the room, I realized there was only ONE spot in the room, that's right - front and center.  The rest of the ladies got a chuckle out of this!  

One of the main components of yoga is to obtain the pose as the teacher instructs and breathe into it.  It is important not to judge yourself or others.  However, another component is awareness, so it has been very difficult for me (and others, probably) to balance being acutely aware of my body without judging it.  Thanks to my 6'4" father and his Scandinavian genes, I am tall, big-boned, and well - sturdy.  I tend to remind myself of these facts a lot, not to mention in a yoga class when the ladies around me are graceful and aligned.  I guess there are some good points to being big-boned - I will probably never break a bone or develop osteoporosis.  Heck, maybe I will still be taking yoga classes when I am 90. . .

Oh, and I am happy to report that after the boys were snug as bugs on Monday night, I slept like a log!     

Impromptu Adventure - Roar!

We woke up Sunday morning and we were running kind of late for church -  well, we could have made it if we had pushed it. . . So, after I brought up the idea of skipping church, Goofy Hubby said, "Why don't we drive down to T-Rex today?"  I couldn't think of a good reason not to, so I said "Road trip!"  Woo!  T-Rex is a large dino-themed restaurant from the same creators as Rain Forest Cafe.  You walk in and a life-sized t-rex greets you with a roar.  

Knowing the boys would not object to skipping church and going on a mini trip, we set about waking them up and dressing them for our impromptu adventure.  There was a caveat - Ethan needed to finish painting his clay garden gnomes (and other various creatures) he had created the day before.  Then, we were off!  

After a meal of tasty (yet overpriced) food, we adopted some stuffed dinos, and did a little shopping at the outlet mall surrounding the restaurant.  We had passed a bowling alley on our way in, and our little one Dilly, who is mildly obsessed with bowling, kept mentioning it, oh, about every thirty seconds.  We had about an hour before we needed to hit the road, so we stopped in to bowl a quick game.  

So, this was definitely not a Suze Orman-approved day, as it was not really in the budget, but sometimes impulse control is overrated.  We had an awesome time - roar!! 

The Beauty of the Rain

"And you know the light is fading all too soon
You're just two umbrellas one late afternoon
You don't know the next thing you will say
This is your favorite kind of day
It has no walls
The beauty of the rain
Is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls"

-Dar Williams, The Beauty of the Rain

The rain always used to make me sad, but I like it now because it cleanses everything.  The boys wanted to get the mail in the rain today . . .

Summerday

"In the streets of Summerday

Trust the night and trust the day

Sun and moon of Summerday

We are pilgrims in the land between religions

We are following our children

And we paint in different colors every day

And if we're true to our hearts they will grow up and want to stay

We will work beside them as they build modest houses

And on a misty April morning we'll rest the shovels on the fence

And die and become a summer day"

-Dar Williams from Summerday on the album Promised Land

In an interview, Dar Williams discussed her song Summerday. She got her inspiration from the earth-loving neighborhood she is a part of. They all grow their own food in their yards, trade ideas, and have dinner parties with their homegrown food. It's just a beautiful song and it inspires me to do more than just having a tomato plant in a bucket. True, our yard is not huge, but I can work with the small space we have.

The line that really hit a chord with me is "And if we're true to our hearts they will grow up and want to stay". I don't know if she means "stay" as in the children will come around and visit their parents often, or "stay" as in they will want to stay on this earth. Either way, this is something I think a lot about as a mom (as I am sure many other moms do). I pray and hope so often that the boys grow up and live beautiful lives. I don't just want them to be happy, I want them to THRIVE.

A wise friend of mine said something important to me when Ethan was a baby and I was fretting about all the awful things that could happen to him in his life. She said, "He has a God watching over him and it is not you." It sounds a bit harsh when you first hear it, but really it is comforting to understand that I can be an awesome mom because my kids (and all kids) deserve it, but there are forces much stronger than me in this world that will affect my children and only God completely knows what is in store for them, good or bad.

Cupcake Tin Dinners

Like pretty much everything creative I will write about here, this was not my idea, but hopefully I will flatter the people who gave me the ideas by copying them. . . The cupcake tin dinner (or is it muffin tin dinner? - either one, I guess) is something I should have tried much sooner than today.  The idea was taken from A Day of Wonders.  The boys LOVED them!  The whole idea is to try and get picky eaters to try a variety of different healthy foods in small quantities.  My boys are not super-picky eaters, but sometimes they say they don't like a certain thing and then they are mysteriously hungry at bedtime.  I have always been a strong believer in not forcing them to finish their plates and not forcing them to eat food if they don't want to.  I figure, they will eat when they are hungry - it is best (for me) not to get into power struggles surrounding food.  I want them to have pleasant memories of our family dinners together!    

From left to right, top to bottom we have Muenster cheese cubes, grape tomatoes, green grapes, Ranch dressing, fruit snacks (dessert!), PB&J pieces, nectarines, baby carrots, red grapes, more PB&J pieces, Colby Jack cheese cubes, and strawberries.  

These were definitely a hit and will be asked for frequently at our supper table!

Weekend in Review

This Saturday was a mission to make terrariums!  The boys and I started out in the morning with a garage sale and then a local thrift store to look for large glass jars.  We lucked out at the town thrift store.  Then, it was on to a couple of other local greenhouses and stores to collect colorful rocks, sea glass, activated charcoal, and small tropical plants.  The last two items, we checked everywhere for, and had to settle for purchasing them at a large discount store.  The boys had so much fun putting their rocks in and flattening the potting soil.  My older son is collecting garden gnomes right now.  We ordered a miniature garden gnome for him to put in his terrarium.  

Just for the record, my friend mentioned terrariums the other day and my older son wanted to do them, so it was not my idea at all.  I actually thought they sounded kind of hard until I made up my mind that we were going to do them.  I got a lot of inspiration from whimsy-girl.blogspot.com.  She has a link to a tutorial which I used.